I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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