he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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