The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Randomize
