He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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