I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
