living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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