addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
