someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
