whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
