you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
