pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
