I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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