Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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