Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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