we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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