This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
