That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
