Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
