porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
