did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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