he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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