I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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