this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
