I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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