either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
