There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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