And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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