Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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