sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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