i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
