Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
