If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
