I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
