you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
