Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
