I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
