I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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