shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
