I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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