HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
