Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
