weddingsv make me drug and hornr
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Randomize
