10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
