Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
