He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
