She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
