Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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