That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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