I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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