Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
