I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Help me help you realize you are a moron
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize