well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
