My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
The police scanner is talking about you again....
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
