i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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