He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
