god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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