I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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