I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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