how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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