Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
