Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
porn star boner night. come get it.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize