i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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