Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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