I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize