I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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